A Personal Note

 

I think you have noticed that my blogging has been making a shift in terms of subjects and how many blogposts I make. You might have noticed my resolutions posts at the beginning of January..

Almost two weeks ago I finally got the courage to go to my general practitioner with my moodyness, fatigue and overall not-feeling-like-I-should-be.

For now, the diagnosis is "burn-out" and maybe a light depression. Maybe a neglected postnatal depression

After this conversation I went to a psychiatric nurse for the first of a couple of talking sessions and it seems that the energy I had left whooshed away.

I fully had the intention to keep working, but last week I was absolutely not myself. Completely drained of energy.

So, as of today, I am at home, trying to regain my happy thoughts, trying to cope with life, recharging my battery and most important of all, trying to understand what is going on with me.

The upcoming weeks will be full of visits (psychiatric nurse, company doctor) and trying to work out how to get out of this!

The most important things the GP and the psychiatric nurse told me were:

- do things that make you feel energized

- do happy things

- do thing YOU want to do

- take care of YOU

Very hard. I'm a "first others, then me" type of girl.

At the moment I am feeling guilt for not working.

Really need to let go of this.

I am going to walk (the GP says it is therapeutic), crochet, sew, and rummage around the house, trying to get it tidied up.

Big Man said: "I would love to see the annoyingly happy girl again I met 8 years ago"

Would love that too!